“As time moves on, we have made our choices….as life moves on, we live within them.” Tom Pearson - March 3rd, 2003
It is not always easy to know when we are making life decisions. Certainly, marriage and job choices are easily understood as major life decisions however many others are disguised as spur of the moment choices that turn out to be directions that lead to major changes in your life.
Frozen Parking Lot
One such decision for me came on the coldest day in Indianapolis in 1984. It was -22 deg. F. below zero without wind chill . Even as the bright rays of the sun were coming over the horizon, it was still colder than a well diggers wallet. I was in my last year of college in 1984 and I was making ends meet by attending my classes in the morning and working at Show Biz Pizza Place in the afternoon and evenings. I already received my 2-year Associate Degree in Electronics Engineering Technology and had a $4 an hour job fixing video games in the game room and repairing the robotic Rock-afire Explosion Show on the dining room stage. On that coldest day of the year and quite possibly the decade, I found myself needing to drive my car to morning classes. I have always hated a cold car! Living in Indiana in the coldest days of winter, I understood well the extreme discomfort of a frozen car from the banging and scrapping of the ice on the windshield to the ice-cold vinyl seats. By the time my car heated up to a comfortable temperature and the glass somewhat free of frost, I would be at my destination. This process repeated itself all winter long.
On that coldest day, I reluctantly walked from my apartment to my car in the frozen uncovered parking lot. It was a sunny early morning but there was no warmth in the sun rays yet. My well used 1978 Pontic Sunbird car with 150,000 miles on it had frost from headlight to taillight and I wondered if I could even open the door as I stuck my key in to unlock. As I opened it, I heard the crackling sounds of the frozen rubber seal around in the door. I imagined the rubber ripping off into small pieces and falling to the snow-covered payment as I started to get in. My vinyl seats made cracking sounds like dry fallen leaves as I slowly sat down. It can be very fragile getting into an icy cold car. My seats already had wear cracks and I didn’t want to make them any larger. I inserted my key into the ignition and turned it hoping for any sound. I heard the sickening sound of a click and then nothing. After a few more twists of the key, I gave up and went back to the warmth of my apartment resigning that I will miss classes today. Later in that day after the sun warmed the parking lot and the temperature made it to a heatwave of -10 degrees F, the engine crankshaft moved through the honey thick oil and started. At -22 F the oil in the crankcase was too thick and the battery power could not pull the crankshaft through the oil, however at -10 degrees it did and began to crank. I was happy it started so I could go to work in the afternoon. While I waited 15 minutes for the car to warm up and defrost the windshield, I contemplated what I wanted to do after I graduate. In that moment, in my cold car, on the coldest day of the decade in Indianapolis, I promised myself that after I graduate, I would live in the South where it is much warmer in the winter and never have to deal with an icy cold car.
Warmer Winters
The course of my life changed because of that cold day. I landed my first job in Shreveport, LA not understanding or caring how far south I would need to go for warmer winters. The decision to go south changed the projection of my life. I was no longer a Midwesterner in the comfort of my childhood home state of Indiana but a new person in a new area who can be whomever I wanted to be. The people around me had no history and no memory or who my family was. They only knew me now and I could be whatever I wanted to be.
Baseball Tryouts
There are other such events in my life that chose the college I would attend. It wasn’t by my SAT scores or high school grades however it was decided when I met a girl at high school during baseball tryouts in my junior year. Alison was a sophomore and she was the only girl who tried out for the boy’s team. This made her a target for the teasing of the boys. I was impressed that a girl could even play baseball as I never seen this before. She didn’t make the team however she became our baseball manager traveling with us and keeping our playbook.
We started dating after my junior year in high school and I shared my senior year with her at my basketball and baseball games and dancing with her at prom. After I graduated, Alison still had another year of high school and was concerned about me “going away” to college and leaving her behind. I had dreams of attending a state school like Purdue or Indiana University however because they were so far away it would require me living on campus and away from her. I decided to go to a local technical college in Dayton, Ohio to get a degree. Each day I commuted 80 miles to Dayton, Ohio and back while working evenings at Domino’s pizza as a delivery driver in Richmond, Indiana. I spent the rest of my time with Alison. How did I choose the college I would go to? It was decided when I met a girl at a baseball tryout. How could I have known?
My Ski Bunny
In a chance meeting on a ski slope in Colorado, my whole life changed when I met Rita. I worked for Compaq Computers in Houston, TX and joined a ski club that went to Colorado for a ski trip. I had learned to ski on the icy slopes of New York State a few years earlier with my best friend Scott and wanted to try out the powder of the Colorado slopes. Joining a ski club seemed to be just the ticket. Our ski club arrived at Winter Park the evening before, and I was suited up with my rental skis the next morning galumphing in my ski boots to the lift.
My plan for the day was to take the lift to the top and point my skis downward and see what happens. On the walk to the ski lift my plans and, as I didn't know yet, my life had changed. As I was headed to the ski lift with my skis in hand on the first morning, my ski partner Jim pointed and said “Hey, I know that girl. She is in my aerobics class in Houston” and proceeded to go over to talk to her. I followed him and introduced myself. Rita was dressed in a black ski bib, shoulder to ankle, with curly black hair flowing down her back. She looked exotically beautiful. She also worked at Compaq Computers and had a “ski buddy” in tow. All 4 of us rode up the lift together. During the ride up, Rita asked me “what level of skier are you” I said, “I am an intermediate trying to improve my curves but mostly pointing my ski’s downward”. She said “I am an intermediate too and Toby, my ski buddy, is a beginner. Why don’t we ski together since we can take the same trails for the first few runs?”.
I said “sure”. Rita decided to ski with me, a person she just met that morning on a ski lift, and this is how I met future wife. I got to know Rita better and what fascinated me is that she is an adventurer. Before we met, she solo sky dived, skied and scuba dived. She loves to explore new places and enjoy the beauty in them…and so did I. How I met my wife? On a ski slope at Winter Park, Colorado. There are many other chances meetings and events that have not happened to me. I will never know how they could have changed my life.
Great Barrier Reef
Rita and I decided to go someplace far away for our honeymoon. We also decided we would spend most of our money on our honeymoon and less on the wedding itself. This is when we decided to scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. Rita introduced me to scuba diving when I met her. We already took a couple of trips to Cozumel to scuba dive however the great barrier reef would be the granddaddy of reefs to dive.
We began to plan the trip and decided to add in New Zealand for a week stop over since we were down under. We decided on a 3 day live aboard boat where we would scuba dive different parts of the barrier reef 3 times a day. It was in November and a full moon, and the coral reefs were spawning. The time on the boat and in reef was fascinating then we headed off to New Zealand.
Raising Sheep
We were touring the Southern Island of New Zealand and decided to do a farm stay where they raised sheep. The South Island was a beautiful place like we have never seen before. On the farm stay we stayed in one the hosts bedrooms. Their children becoming adults moved off the sheep farm into cities and the couple looking for companionship and money decided to use one of their bedrooms to create a farm stay for people who wanted to see what it’s like to live on a sheep farm. We had rack of lamb the night we arrived and retired to the sitting room where he smoked a pipe, and we discussed our lives and events of the world just like proper Englishmen do after a good supper.
The next morning, we woke up to a sunny day with sheep grazing just outside our bedroom window. After breakfast we decided to walk out into the sheep pasture and enjoy the view. We sat down on a grassy knoll and looked all around us. To the left of us was the New Zealand Alps with the snow-covered peaks in the summertime glistening in the sun. Further down and to the right and in front of us was the well grazed pastures and rich green grassy knolls that surrounded the landscape. Further to our right was the rocky shores of the Pacific Ocean unfettered by any condos or houses lining the shores. I could hear the Pacific Ocean waves slapping the coastline.
I told Rita I would love to live here on the South Island of New Zealand in the idyllic setting however I didn’t want to raise sheep. We went back to Houston and told our friends about the beauty of the South Island and how we wanted to live there however didn’t want to herd 1000 sheep. A friend told us about the Pacific Northwest where she spent a summer interning at the Boeing airplane manufacturing plant and how what we described was very much like that area.
Pacific Northwest
Rita and I decided to visit the Pacific Northwest the next year by traveling to Whistler, Vancouver, Canada to go skiing and exploring the Pacific Northwest. After that trip we decided that we would look for job opportunities in that area and found one. Why did we raise a family in the Pacific Northwest? Because we wanted to go scuba diving at the Great Barrier reef. Who could have known?
What I realized is that no matter how it came to be, I am here today, either by chance or by choice, these events has shaped my life and it has put me where I am today. I must make the best choices today and live gratefully within the events that have occurred.
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