“I have been anticipating this day all of my life …one’s last words before their next journey after death” Tom Pearson- July 9th, 2009

After birth the largest event in one’s life is death. Sure, there are many important milestones in between but death is what takes us to our next purpose. When I first came to visit dad Tuesday morning, he was asleep in bed at the nursing home. I put my chair next to his bed and looked at him not believing this frail thin old man dying from an insidious disease was my father. He was battling prostate cancer for several years. The doctors proceeded cautiously as it was assumed to be a slow growing cancer that many older men have and will not spread before the person dies of “old age”. The 15-year survival rate of prostate cancer is 96%. The doctors were going with the odds. They first monitored the prostate cancer, then when that wasn’t enough, they radiated it, then when that was not enough, they removed it. And still when that was not enough, they did chemotherapy. At each step I saw my father getting frailer and frailer with hope slipping away. My father had the rarer prostate cancer. The faster growing one called small cell carcinoma that are of 1% of all prostate cancers. The aggressive cancer spread to other organs and finally lead us to hospice inside the nursing home.

When I saw him, I was in denial that this man could even be my father. I touched his arm and said, “Hi Dad” He looked up over the bar on his bed, saw me and said “Tom, it is so wonderful to see you. This is such a great joy you are here”. I replied, “I love you too.” He was confused and asked me why he was in the nursing home, and I went on and told him the events that led up to him being there under hospice care. Finally, I told him “You are dying, and I want to make you as comfortable as I can right up to the edge”. He said “Oh, I didn’t know.” But he did know, however no one directly told him that as a fact. I continued by telling him the many ways his life has touched mine. He told me he was ready to go to heaven with God. That Thursday he was laboring just breathing when we were visiting him. I told him Mom is now our responsibility and he can let go of her. During the dying process a few hours before he passed, he said in a surprised voice “I am floating”, then he said, “the girl is floating”. A few minutes later he said, “I am dead?”. We told him that he was still here with us and this woke him. He said in a very disappointed voice “I got to start the whole process over again”. He passed later in the night, peacefully and onward to his next journey.

My Next Journey

As the sun sets over the far horizon,

And the day turns to night,

I lay down my head and close my eyes,

And wait for the light.

I have been waiting on this day all of my life,

For the moment when I would be free,

To leave this world behind and move on,

To the next journey that awaits me.

I have no fear of death, for I know

That it is not the end,

But only the beginning of a new adventure,

In a new and wonderful land.

So I close my eyes and take a deep breath,

And prepare to embark on my new journey,

With a smile on my face and a song in my heart,

For I know that I am finally going home.

Tom Pearson - 4/19/2023